I think you probably nailed the best one first time round. Most likely tweet to attract law enforcement I could come up with in 140 characters was:
"even as I grow old, I dream of recapturing lost youth. lust never dies. but frankly these days I'll sleep with any girl below the age of 4"
Honestly, officer, I meant forty...
Quote: Jennie @ July 31 2013, 12:22 PM BSTI like the original joke. If you thought of a few more, it could be a really great sketch, rather than a single joke.
Quite. One gag does not a sketch make.
Quote: enigmatic @ July 31 2013, 9:45 PM BSTI think you probably nailed the best one first time round. Most likely tweet to attract law enforcement I could come up with in 140 characters was:
"even as I grow old, I dream of recapturing lost youth. lust never dies. but frankly these days I'll sleep with any girl below the age of 4"
Honestly, officer, I meant forty...
Thank you enigmatic, and good effort as well I like that, ends very well.
Tursiops thanks for the reply and I am up for a challenge are you? (please lets keep it friendly)
Not intended as unfriendly, but I have noticed a lot of your sketches are set ups for a gag; what distinguishes the sketch as a genre is that it take a joke and plays with it.
As Jennie points out you have a premise for a proper sketch here rather than a single gag.
Quote: Tursiops @ July 31 2013, 10:10 PM BSTNot intended as unfriendly, but I have noticed a lot of your sketches are set ups for a gag; what distinguishes the sketch as a genre is that it take a joke and plays with it.
As Jennie points out you have a premise for a proper sketch here rather than a single gag.
Thanks, at the moment I am just writing all sorts, I don't know if they are a sketch, a gag a joke, or just me rambling. I see what you mean about taking a joke and playing with it, I will have a go at that.
Play my twitter game then?
This is another effort I added it to the original, I am not convinced it works at all but I tried to give it another go:
EXTERNAL - NIGHT 2 POLICE OFFICERS ARE KNOCKING ON A DOOR
THE DOOR IS ANSWERED BY DAVE
Dave: yes officers can I help you?
Policeman 1: Are you David, Byron Heath?
Dave: Yes that's me
Policeman 1: Is your twitter username Daveydozer
Dave: That's right is there a problem?
Policeman 1: We have received a complaint against you, for posting offensive and abusive comments on the social networking site twitter
Dave: What comments did I make on twitter and to who?
Policeman 1: They were made to a senior member of parliament Christine Hughes, she has logged a complaint against you.
Dave: Oh yes I replied to one of her tweets it wasn't offensive, I was commenting on the number of people she employs.
Policeman 1: Yes we have seen the tweet it reads as follows:
Your department spends too much money and you have way too many managers if I was in charge the first thing I would do is cut your head off
Dave: Ah bloody twitter and 140 characters, I meant to say head office
here is another one I thought of:
I have applied for a freedom of information request regarding the properties you own I would also like to meet you so I can inspect your ass
I think he means assets
This is my last one now, I won't do it again, but thought this one suited this forum:
I think you are a very funny lady and I hear that you like Monty Python I would very much like to visit your house and look at all your come
Sorry officer I meant comedy
Carlos that last one shows a touchy confusion around the female anatomy.
Hi Carlos,
I would also consider trying to tie the character in to the tweet.
In your first example, there wasn't any reason why your character would complain about too many blacksmiths - who would do that? Are there any blacksmiths at all anymore? Certainly aren't in South East London.
BUT - if you could make that line natural to your character, you would take the joke up a level. In my opinion, anyway.
Keep writing 
Quote: sootyj @ August 1 2013, 1:36 PM BSTCarlos that last one shows a touchy confusion around the female anatomy.
Yes I have a problem with touchy confusions
Quote: Jennie @ August 1 2013, 1:37 PM BSTHi Carlos,
I would also consider trying to tie the character in to the tweet.
In your first example, there wasn't any reason why your character would complain about too many blacksmiths - who would do that? Are there any blacksmiths at all anymore? Certainly aren't in South East London.
BUT - if you could make that line natural to your character, you would take the joke up a level. In my opinion, anyway.
Keep writing
Yes I would like to have done that as well, blacksmiths was a poor example for a high street I agree, but that was the best I could come up with, and I thought since it was comedy it didn't have to be accurate but I will have a think of another one.
How about this one:
I am not concerned about parking charges that you've introduced in town but there are no blacksmiths and everywhere you look there is a jew.
Sorry officer I meant to say Jewellers
He's having a go at the jewellers now.
Oh, give the jewellers a chance.
I'm guessing, but I'd imagine there are endless ways of making this idea work. Keep at it and you'll have a load of them to put in your arse
Sorry, that was meant to be arsenal.
Quote: stonked @ August 1 2013, 6:19 PM BSTI'm guessing, but I'd imagine there are endless ways of making this idea work. Keep at it and you'll have a load of them to put in your arse
Sorry, that was meant to be arsenal.
Nicely done stonked, yes I have made a few more I even found a system of making them, but I won't post anymore on here. My work here is done