BLOKES
Int. Evening . Pub. Full of Jeremy Clarkson type guys including the bar staff . Leather bomber jackets , blue jeans , cowboy boots and big hair .
Wide screen television is on above the bar . Jeremy Clarkson is on . The sound is muted.
Bloke One
He's great , isn't he? Old Jeremy Clarkson?
It's good to see a regular...bloke on the old goggle box , isn't it ...mate?
Bloke Two
Just an average bloke like any of us who went to an average public school like any of us blokes here and despite that managed to turn himself - like us - into a top bloke and a testosterone charged fanny magnet .
Bloke One
A top bloke !
Bloke Two
A bloke's bloke!
Bar Bloke
Two more pints...mates?
Bloke One
Now you're talking ...mate.
Bloke Two
Two foaming tankards of your finest ale , my good man . None of that Johnny Foreigner Irish muck , though .
Bloke One
Oi'd loike a point of your stout , Patrick !
Both Blokes
Not!
Bloke One
This is great this ...mate ? Isn't it ?
Bloke Two
The best... mate. No Welsh , Irish , Scottish , environmentalists , beardie-weirdies or any Johnny Foreigners to spoil things with their endless whinging and moaning .
Bloke One
Tell me about it... mate . Funny non-English accents and continually banging on about rainforests and polar bears . Not a decent bloke among them .
Bloke Two
All we need is some top totty to make this the perfect evening .
The door opens and two attractive young women walk in . They look about then at each other as the Blokes puff their chests out . They quickly leave .
Blokes
Lesbians!
Fades
