Hotel porter Bill Darling loves his job, and does it well. So well, in fact, that his employers - London's Royal Connought - have had him sign a contract saying he cannot resign but only be fired, such is his importance to the running of the business.

Bill, however, is unaware of this snag until a former, elderly and wealthy resident of the establishment dies, bequeathing him the princely sum of £10,000 in her will. Long dreaming of escaping to the warm climes of the south of France from wet 1950s London, Darling attempts to hand in his notice and is outraged when the manager points out that he cannot.

Having more than a few tricks up his sleeve, Bill isn't about to go - or rather, stay - quietly. Instead he sets about doing his job as badly as possible, and within a matter of days is given his cards and swiftly leaves for sunny Cannes. Unfortunately for Bill, he finds himself quickly disillusioned with the supposedly idyllic resort. Both too busy to properly relax and too dull to keep him interested, a series of sporting mishaps seal the deal: he's heading back to rainy, exciting London.

The Royal Connought, alas, has fared even worse than Bill's ambitions of a retirement in the sun: when he returns from his stint in France, he finds the doors shut and only old Sid in the building, now acting as caretaker whilst a buyer for the premises is sought. It seems that porter Darling was even more integral to the successful running of the company than any had imagined!

Equally shocked and outraged, Bill seeks out his old chums with a plan. He's not spent all of the inheritance, and there's just about enough left to buy the hotel's lease - now all they must do is convince a trio of northern investors to back them with the last of the funds they require.