Top 20 Christmas Cracker jokes 2017

The results of TV channel Gold's annual competition to find the best modern Christmas Cracker jokes have been announced. Here's the top 20:

1. Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager? She couldn't run a stable government

2. Why don't Southern Rail train guards share Advent Calendars? They want to open the doors themselves

3. What's the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year

4. Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the South's annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change

5. Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying 'moron' to him

6. Why was the planned Ryanair TV documentary scrapped? They were unable to air a pilot

7. Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year? Deal or No Deal

8. Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new Cabinet

9. What did Bruce Forsyth say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him? 'Good game, good game'

10. Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat sprouts on Christmas day? He wants to give peas a chance

11. Which supermarket did best in the Holy Land? Oh Lidl, crown of Bethlehem

12. Why did the Irishman put Khloe, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian in his living room at Xmas? He wanted an artificial tree

13. Where does Jeremy Corbyn hang his Christmas stocking? On the far left

14. Why are there only 11 days of Christmas this year? Because the Three French Hens got stuck at border control

15. Why was Theresa May asked to play the donkey in this year's Nativity? They needed someone who was a little horse

16. How do you ruin Stormzy's Christmas? Criticise his wrapping

17. What's Donald Trump's favourite flavour Quality Street? Covfefe Cream

18. What keeps Spain from buying Christmas socks that match? Matalan separatists

19. The Queen's Christmas message has been cancelled this year as there's no more Monarch

20. What's the difference between David Davis and Santa Claus? Santa always delivers

First launched five years ago, the competition was created by TV channel Gold "to brighten up the festive season" after it was revealed that nearly three quarters of Brits thought that traditional cracker jokes were in need of a makeover.

Comedians and the public were challenged to post their original festive gags on Twitter for the competition, with a judging panel then picking which should go forward to an anonymous public vote to decide on the winners.

The author of the winning joke, Samuel Williams, received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain his own gag.

The other writers to feature jokes in the top ten are David Lawrence (x2), Richard Woolford, Daniel Page, Reece Bowen, Mark Gregory, Anna King Jackson, Kyle Eaton and Matt King.

Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who headed up the Gold judging panel, says: "In a world that seems to have turned upside down in recent years, there is something wonderfully reassuring about the fact that people have still retained their sense of humour and come up with some inspired gags for this year's Gold Christmas Crackers competition. The subjects of the jokes that were entered reflect the issues that concern the country today; from Brexit and Donald Trump to Bruce Forsyth and Southern Rail, people have still been able to find the funny side."

Gerald Casey, channel director of Christmas Gold at UKTV, says: "The festive period brings about a lot of time for reflection on the year that's gone by and with so many tumultuous events happening around the world in 2017, it's good to see that the famous British wit is still sharp as ever."