The top 10 modern cracker jokes

A pun involving singer Miley Cyrus has topped a competition aiming to 'modernise the traditional Christmas cracker joke'.

Here's the top 10 winning jokes...

1. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky.

2. Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer.

3. Mary and Joseph - now they had a stable relationship.

4. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show.

5. What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker.

6. Why don't you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care.

7. How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.

8. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered.

9. How do you know if Santa's been in your garden shed? You've got three extra hoes.

10. Why was the Brussels sprout sent to prison? Because it was a repeat offender.

The competition was run by TV channel UKTV Gold. It challenged comedians and gag-smiths to write their own original festive gags and submit them via Twitter. The best were then put to a public vote which determined the top 10. The initiative was launched by the channel following a poll which revealed that 72% of the nation believes that cracker jokes are outdated.

The Twerky gag, written by Richard Woolford, gained 23% of the vote. After winning £5,000 and a box of Gold Crackers, one of which will contain his own joke, he said: "I'm totally amazed and can't believe it! I now hope Twerking becomes a new Christmas tradition - are you listening Nan? This has been a phenomenal year and a great welcome back into comedy for me after being away so long recovering from cancer. All I want to do is write comedy professionally, and hopefully this is another step closer to my dream."

Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who oversaw the competition, says: "Reading all the entries certainly showed me that Brits always have plenty of gags up their sleeve! Using Twitter not only helped keep the jokes short and sharp, but we also saw a number of pop culture icons included in the festive mix - truly updating the cracker jokes for families to enjoy as they tuck into their turkey this year."

Gags that just missed out on a top 10 space include:

- Why did Harry Styles fail at being Santa? Because he can only use the chimney in One Direction.

- Why did Rudolph the reindeer have the complete works of Shakespeare on his top lip? Because his nose was well read.

- Why can't you wash up during Christmas? Because the Fairy is on top of the tree.

UKTV Gold is currently promoting its festive programming. The channel will be showing Christmas specials from the likes of The Royle Family, Outnumbered and Only Fools And Horses every day in the run up to the 25th.

A set of Christmas crackers featuring some of the top jokes from the competition can be purchased from Pedlars.co.uk