Take That gag wins Christmas Cracker joke competition

A pun about the 'man band' Take That has won UKTV Gold's annual competition to find the best modern festive jokes.

Here's the top 10 for 2014:

1. What will be missing from Take That's Christmas stocking this year? An Orange.

2. How does Luis Suarez like his Christmas dinner? Bite-sized.

3. What do the Royal Family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs? Game of Thrones.

4. What did the Snowman say to the aggressive carrot? 'Get out of my face.'

5. Why is Christmas a busy time for David Cameron? He's got two parties to organise.

6. What's the difference between Bono and Santa? Santa gives you things you want.

7. Why won't Santa visit Nigel Farage? Because he only comes if you sleep, not if UKIP.

8. Why are snowmen rubbish at cricket? They're always bowling snow-balls.

9. I got a UKIP advent calendar. It's rubbish, all the doors keep slamming shut.

10. Why is The Great British Bake Off like the nativity? Because the Star is in the Yeast.

TV channel Gold challenged professional comedians and amateur wits to submit their own modern festive funnies, after the results of a poll last year revealed 72% of the nation believe that cracker jokes are outdated.

The jokes were entered via Twitter, with a panel of judges then shortlisting the best jokes to be submitted into a poll of 2,000 British adults.

The author of the winning joke, Lynne Newton, received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of customised Gold Crackers. She says: "I am so delighted to have my joke chosen as the winner and can't wait to see it in a Christmas cracker this year - I tried to think of a joke for which all age groups would enjoy the punch line, I hope it gets a great reaction from all who see it! My husband is 50 at the end of the year, so I'm planning to use the prize to surprise him with a holiday."

Bruce Dessau, who headed up the Gold judging panel, says: "This year's top ten confirmed what I always suspected - that there are comedians everywhere. The entrants came up with quips that were cheeky, smart and snappy, the perfect combination for the perfect Christmas cracker joke. It was good to see lots of topical humour in there too, with Luis Suarez, Nigel Farage and The Great British Bake Off featuring prominently. And with this year's winner, Take That can now add yet another number one hit to their CV!"

More Christmas cracker gags:

These just missed out on the top 10:

- Why were Santa's helpers in hiding this year? Their naked Elfies were leaked.

- Why won't Santa leave Chris and Gwyneth with his reindeer and sleigh? In case they consciously uncouple.

- Why does Santa put chimneys on Tinder? Because he wants them to be swept right.

- What girl band sells the cheapest variety of Christmas food? Lidl Mix.

Comedy channel Gold's '25 Days of Christmas' is showing festive TV favourites every evening until Christmas.