Top 10 Christmas cracker jokes 2022

TV channel Gold have revealed the results of their annual competition to find the top ten funniest festive Christmas cracker jokes.

1. What type of peas ruin Christmas Dinner? MPs.

2. Why does Kate Bush need to turn the heating off? She's running up that bill.

3. How did King Charles III sign his Christmas cards to his family? The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

4. What's the difference between Liz Truss and a shepherd? One U-turns and the other turns ewes.

5. Why are Will Smith and Chris Rock not having turkey this Christmas? Because they've got beef.

6. Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.

7. What crisps do Phil and Holly serve at their Christmas party? Skips.

8. Why are the Government having problems with their own version of the Christmas Nativity? They can't find three wise men.

9. What do people heating their homes and wrapping paper have in common this Christmas? Both of them are getting ripped off.

10. How can you keep your home warm this Christmas? Tinsulation.

Now in its tenth year, the Gold competition challenged the British public to tweet original festive gags to enter the competition. Entries were shortlisted by a panel of judges - led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau - and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults to reveal the winning jokes. The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Gold's Christmas crackers, and presented to this year's winners.

The author of the winning joke, Claire Travers Smith from London, received the top prize of £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain her own winning gag.

Bruce Dessau says: "After another year of ups and downs the British public has delivered the laughs, with this year's modern Christmas cracker jokes covering topics from the rising cost of living to queue-jumping presenters and politicians performing u-turns. Proving that once again we're a nation with an unrelenting sense of humour!"

Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, adds: "This year has seen another outpouring of comedic talent for our competition, putting a festive funny spin on the events of 2022. We're hoping that alongside Gold's Christmas programming, this year's winning entries will see the country end the year with a laugh."