Silver Screen Dreams
Which movie classics would UK comics love to be in?
There's an interesting little question on one of this website's regular Q&A features, which can offer a unique insight into the person answering: 'Which movie or TV show would you love to have appeared in? And which part?'.
It is quite entertaining, imagining major movies if they'd given the main role to a solid UK circuit comedian, rather than a Hollywood star (although certain circuit comics have gone on to appear in big films, of course, from Russell Brand to Dave Johns; legendary director Ken Loach is particularly fond of casting veteran gagsmiths). Those scripts would need to change a bit, to suit the stand-ups' strengths.
Christopher Nolan's brilliant but baffling new film Tenet might now be a lot funnier, shorter, and the callbacks would make more sense. Drive - directed by Nicolas Winding Refn - could swap Ryan Gosling's sexy Chevy Malibu for a roomy hatchback, handy for taking props and flyers up to Edinburgh. And Martin Scorsese's Las Vegas drama Casino? That would take place in a hotel room after a gig, as a still-buzzing headliner enjoys some live casino action while winding down. Not such a gamble with the budget, that version.
Those are the sorts of films we'd imagine most performers might go for: cool, critically-acclaimed but commercially-successful releases that also involve working with a respected director. So what did the comedians go for in our Q&As? Well, not that sort of thing at all, most of the time. Rather than play someone glamorous, they suggested rather more eclectic roles.
Edy Hurst's dream was to be in The Muppet Show, and their spin-off films. "Maybe I could be Michael Caine's role in Christmas Carol," he suggested, "or Kevin Bishop in Treasure Island? But if I'm being honest I'd love to have been Gonzo. Although then I don't get to meet Gonzo: what a double-edged sword."
He also suggested taking Jennifer Connolly's role in Labyrinth, because then you get to meet David Bowie. Good thinking. Meanwhile Juliet Myers admitted that she and her canine companion Homer would like to be the new Dorothy and Toto in The Wizard Of Oz. "I love it because it's about discovering you had the strengths you'd wished for all along," Myers said of Oz, although that choice was chiefly because she could still bring Homer to work.
Ed Aczel did go a bit grittier, opting for Martin Sheen's character Captain Willard from Apocalypse Now, "because he goes on a messed-up road trip which leads him all the way down the rabbit hole." Which is intriguing. Perhaps Ed had a particularly tricky drive back from Edinburgh, one year.
As mentioned above, stand-up comedy can sometimes lead to acting success, and for several comics we asked, that question threw up something a bit more revealing. As Adam Willis from the duo Willis & Vere put it, when asked what film he'd love to have been in: "I'd like to be in a film made by me and play the main part."
Which is honest. Film buff Richard Sandling was pretty frank about his dream role, too.
"As an actor, I pretty much would have liked to have any part in any movie I am not in, so this is quite tricky," Sandling admitted, of that query. But then he had another think, and went for Uncle Buck.