Fast Times
How would one sketch show's characters survive in the modern world?
A few months ago the UK belatedly celebrated the 25th anniversary of one of our greatest comedy series. It's hard to believe that The Fast Show is now over a quarter of a century old, but life has definitely moved on a bit, since those characters were invented. You probably wouldn't get someone in 2020 wandering around shouting about how everything is brilliant.
Admittedly Paul Whitehouse does still mooch about and express similar sentiments now, about the wonders of the British countryside, but he and Bob Mortimer do it a lot more quietly. Otherwise they'd scare away all of the fish. An episode of Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing without Paul and Bob both saying, "And awaaaay," is just not the same.
Life is easier in many ways now, mind you, compared to the Fast Show days. A character like Simon Day's Billy Bleach might struggle to find punters to annoy, with the advent of online gambling. From the comfort of an armchair you're able to find new casino sites through Slotsia and their new casino sites page, for example, without a random slots 'expert' suddenly looming over your shoulder and telling you which buttons to press to win.
Of course, the whole of social media can sometimes seem like a billion Billy Bleaches, all telling you what to do, and usually getting it wrong. It's as if Harry Enfield's You Don't Wanna Do It Like That man - different show, but similar universe - had found a lamp, rubbed it, met a magical genie, been granted three wishes, and decided to spend one of them expanding his global reach. Although actually he'd probably have annoyed the genie so much, he'd never have reached the wish bit.
Then again, Mark Williams' memorable Fast Show character Jesse and his regular dispatches from the barn - 'This week I have mostly been eating...' - are pretty much how Twitter used to be, before all the arguments started. In those first few years, the only big disagreements were about lunch ingredients, preferred meal deals and which Marks and Spencer sandwich went better with certain crisps. Those were the days. That probably all happens on Instagram instead now.
Speaking of which, Arabella Weir's Fast Show character who is always asking about her own posterior would probably be obsessed with Instagram, which again would be a better bet than Twitter, as you can just imagine the tone of the replies on there. Charlie Higson's wheeler-dealing Flash Tony and Caroline Aherne's way too nosy checkout girl would have met tough competition at work, from online car dealerships and automated tills. Imagine Tony doing internet dating, though, while Aherne's character would have a field day on Facebook.
And finally, Mark Williams' 'I'll get my coat' man would love the idea of social media, being such a fan of social occasions. But then he'd try too hard, put his foot in it for the whole world to see, then do an online 'get my coat' by deleting his accounts forever. Probably for the best.