Dear Sexy Knickers: A love letter to Are You Being Served?
Published: Sunday 10th November 2024
Ground floor, perfumery,
Stationery and leather goods,
Wigs and haberdashery,
Kitchenware and food,
Going up!
The brainchild of writer and performer Jeremy Lloyd, Are You Being Served? was - is - a British cultural phenomenon. Across ten series (fittingly, 69 episodes), including numerous Christmas specials, a film, a stage-play and even a short story collection, the saucy sitcom, set in an ailing London department store, won the hearts of a nation with its heady mix of colourful characters, broad plots, outrageous props, and even more outrageous double entendres. The show travelled, too, and is still popular abroad: I remember checking into a New York hotel and switching on the television to find Captain Peacock receiving his key to the Executive Loo.
For Lloyd, Are You Being Served? was a product of desperation as well as inspiration. Recovering from a nervous breakdown in a friend's West London townhouse, he had nothing in the bank but a Rolls-Royce on the drive and needed a new project. Recalling his time as a junior assistant at Simpsons of Piccadilly, he typed up a proposal for a sitcom set in a menswear department and sent it to BBC producer David Croft. As Lloyd noted in the introduction to his story collection, Are You Being Served? - "Camping In" And Other Fiascos, "I've often had a good relationship, albeit platonic, with Dame Fortune".
The Dame smiling upon him once more, Croft hopped on board and a pilot was swiftly commissioned.
Birthing a sitcom, however, is never easy. Changes inevitably need to be made: it was Croft who added the Ladies' Department, thus creating the show's central conflict. Indeed, the first series almost didn't happen at all, as David Croft explained: "The general feeling was that the show was a bit common and not quite the sort of thing the BBC should be doing."
Happily, Dame Fortune intervened again. Croft continued:
I was leaning against Bill Cotton's doorway, chatting about programmes in general, as one was able to do in those days, when Dennis Main Wilson phoned through to say that he was doubtful whether he could deliver Till Death Us Do Part as promised. This would leave six nasty holes in the schedules.
Opportunities like this seldom present themselves. Straight away I leapt in and said that Bill could have six Are You Being Served? shows if he gave the word. What's more they were cheap, and required no outside film effort. "OK," said Bill, "but do we have to have the poof?"
"He isn't a poof," I said. "He's a mother's boy, and he hasn't made up his mind yet. And without him, bang goes half the comedy."
"Oh, all right then," said Bill resignedly. "Go ahead - but watch it."
Lloyd and Croft quickly set about writing five more episodes. They were off.
First floor, telephones,
Gents' ready-made suits,
Shirts, socks, ties, hats,
Underwear and shoes,
Going up!
Like all David Croft's sitcoms, Are You Being Served? is perfectly cast.
Mollie Sugden had impressed the producer in Hugh And I and, upon reading the pilot script, immediately agreed to play Mrs Slocombe. She would share top billing with Trevor Bannister as Mr Lucas. Frank Thornton completed the dynamic, bridging the gap between the two warring departments as starchy floorwalker Captain Stephen Peacock.
The rest of the ensemble knitted together beautifully. Arthur Brough, an old associate of David Croft, grumbled and grouched as Mr Grainger; Nicholas Smith bumbled and bloviated as Mr Rumbold.
John Inman had caught the producer's eye at a performance of Salad Days: as Mr Humphries, he would go onto become the series' break-out star.
Croft originally wanted Sheila Steafel as Miss Brahms, but she was unavailable. After considerable deliberation, the part went to Wendy Richard (Richard played Mollie Sugden's daughter in Hugh And I, which Croft worried might cause confusion).
Rounding off the set-up was Harold Bennett as Young Mr Grace. Bennett - who'd worked as a draughtsman for an electric company, and only took up his acting career upon retirement - was a Croft discovery, and had appeared in a number of episodes of Dad's Army. He was ideal as the store's doddery owner, Young Mr Grace. ("I'm going to see Last Tango In Paris. I got the all clear from my heart specialist this morning.")
Over time, the ensemble evolved.
Series 4 would find Larry Martyn's brash union man Mr Mash replaced by Arthur English as the much more genial, yet still truculent, Mr Harman.
Following the death of Arthur Brough, a quartet of senior sales assistants came and went: James Hayter as Mr Tebbs, Alfie Bass as Mr Goldberg, Milo Sperber as Mr Grossman, and Benny Lee as Mr Klein.
Series 8 saw a number of key changes. Mike Berry's Mr Spooner replaced Bannister's Lucas, and Kenneth Waller - who would go onto play Grandad in Bread - joined the cast as Old Mr Grace (Bennett was too frail to handle eight recordings, though he does make an appearance in the first episode, Is It Catching?, and the infamous 1981 Christmas special, Roots).
The ninth series saw the arrival of Candy Davis as Miss Belfridge, the abandonment of attempts to replace Mr Grainger, and both Mr Graces, Young and Old, moved off-screen.
Series 9 also saw the departure of David Croft, leaving Jeremy Lloyd to write the final two series alone.
His influence is missed. Although these later shows are mostly fun - The Hold Up is a particular highlight, delightfully silly and contrived - they lack the energy of previous outings.
Like all the most successful writing partnerships, Lloyd and Croft were at their funniest together. At their best, Are You Being Served?'s scripts shimmer with joy.
Of course, there are the double entendres - "Captain Peacock, I do not respond to any man's finger!" - which pepper the show.
MRS SLOCOMBE: Is it true that Young Mr Grace is retiring?
CAPTAIN PEACOCK: No, no, no, he's not retiring. I believe he's been writing a book on ornithology. He's completed his research into mating and migration, and now he wants to spend more time on the nest.
You can sense the writers revelling in each smutty contrivance -
MR HUMPHRIES: Never mind, Mrs Slocombe, you can always fall back on your hobby.
MRS SLOCOMBE: Mr Humphries, to what are you inferring?
MR HUMPHRIES: You could open a pet shop.
MR LUCAS: Yeah, you could have a flashing light outside saying, "If your pussy's in the mood, have it clipped and then shampooed".
- and this gives the whole production a knowing twinkle. The viewer is not simply watching the action unfold, but sharing in - revelling in - the absurdity of it all.
The plots are similarly cheeky. There are the wonderful low farces, such as the first episode of Series 1, where Mr Lucas's note to Miss Brahms ends up in the hands of Mrs Slocombe -
MRS SLOCOMBE: (Reading) "Dear Sexy Knickers. I don't half fancy you. Meet me outside at five thirty, and we'll get it together." ... Get what? (Realising) Well, really!
- not-to-mention a constant stream of ridiculous attempts to reverse declining sales figures (Let's put together a fashion show! Let's shoot a TV commercial! Let's don lederhosen and hold a specially-themed German Week!).
A particular treat are the mechanical props that became a feature of Lloyd and Croft's work. These usually take the form of malfunctioning display units: the exploding Pussy Boots cat, the flashing Father Christmas (its coat opened at a horrified Mr Humphries: "Ho ho ho, little boy, have I got a surprise for you!"), the life-sized Mr Grace doll that takes its head off with its hat.
Perhaps the pinnacle of this surreal through-line is the pair of dancing mannequins in Top Hat And Tails, who manage to beat the staff in their efforts to represent Grace Brothers in an inter-store ballroom dancing competition. One can't help but suspect that, by this point, Lloyd's anecdotal experience of life at Simpson's had been left behind.
Indeed, by the fourth series, the plots are not so much stories as theatrical constructs. This transition compliments both the performers and the magnificent set, which is absolutely perfect for this kind of comedy: the lift doors at the back and fitting rooms to the sides essentially turning the shop floor into a proscenium arch stage.
Crucially, however, the writers never lose sight of their characters. They remain totally consistent, whether dealing with Gorden Kaye as a Scotsman with a camera hidden in his sporran (the camera would be placed behind an apron flap in a similarly silly set-piece in their later smash-hit, 'Allo 'Allo!), or lining up behind a modesty screen before a medical in the Series 7 episode Strong Stuff, This Insurance.
And, of course, there are the catchphrases. "You've all done very well!", "And I am unanimous in that", "They'll ride up with wear". Most memorable of all was "I'm free!" - uttered by everyone, but most closely associated with Mr Humphries, tape measure at the ready, sashaying towards another inside leg.
Mrs Slocombe's pussy, meanwhile, seemed to take on a life of its own, the running gag testing the boundaries of acceptability on pre-watershed BBC One. "My pussy got soaking wet," she announces in New Look, "I had to dry it out in front of the fire before I left."
Whilst high emotion is not a feature of Are You Being Served?, there is warmth: the friendship between Mr Humphries and Mr Lucas (latterly, Mr Spooner) is especially sweetly handled. "Can I have a word with my friend?" says Mr Humphries, when confronted by a difficult problem or request, before taking him aside for a private conversation. For all their bickering, you believe that Grace Brothers' staff are friends, as well as colleagues.
Second floor, carpets,
Travel goods and bedding,
Materials and soft furnishing.
Restaurant and teas,
Going down!
What is the secret of Are You Being Served?'s success? I asked a few fellow admirers for their thoughts.
Writer Gareth Roberts - whose own contributions to British comedy include Reeves & Mortimer's witty reimagining of Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) and the breezy BBC Three sitcom Swiss Toni - told me, "We hear incessantly about 'community' and 'communities' nowadays, usually from people busy destroying them. Are You Being Served? has the genuine warmth of genuine community - it is convivial and uplifting and good for the soul, it reminds you why such things were called tonics. It is vulgar, predictable and prosaic and makes you glad to be alive."
The Telegraph's Tim Stanley added, "At the time, Served? was an indictment of national decline, but now it inspires nostalgia. I grew up in a world of randy old bags and closeted tailors, loved it then and miss it now. The show captures us Brits: snobs with raging passions hidden behind desks. In one episode, Rumbold 'outs' Captain Peacock as 'lower middle class' cos he lives near a mainline train station and has a downstairs loo.
"The show is the archetypal sitcom, one of Britain's gifts to civilisation, and should be studied in school. It compares to the comedies of Greek writer Aristophanes, who wrote tragedies with laughs that end with singing and dancing - much like those wonderful Christmas specials."
David Croft happily attributed the show's popularity to the "near genius" of his co-writer. "Wonderful comedy," Croft would note, "simply pours out of him."
Jeremy Lloyd was sanguine. "Real [Donald] McGill postcard stuff," he'd reflect, "But much loved by the audience. Not to mention the writers."
As a partnership, they'd go onto enjoy further huge success with 'Allo 'Allo! - as well as writing Come Back Mrs. Noah (a truly extraordinary piece of television, in which Mollie Sugden's Gertrude Noah wins a cookery competition and is blasted into space), Oh Happy Band! (featuring the final screen appearance of comedian Harry Worth), and Grace & Favour, Are You Being Served?'s charming 90s spin-off.
Their legacy - as two of Britain's greatest, and most unashamedly joyful, sitcom writers - is assured.
Are You Being Served? represents a certain type of British sitcom - broad and uncompromisingly populist - at its best.
We need more joyful, accessible comedy. And I am unanimous in that.
Where to start?
Series 2, Episode 2 - Cold Comfort
A gloriously silly episode, the best of the four written by Lloyd, Croft and Michael Knowles. It may be so cold Mrs Slocombe "had to the thaw her pussy out", but in the midst of a fuel crisis the store's heating's been turned off. Miss Brahms repurposes some ear muffs, Mr Grainger's pipes are blocked and as for Mr Humphries - his ballpoint will never function in this weather.
Catch up on all Tim's articles for British Comedy Guide
Help us publish more great content by becoming a BCG Supporter. You'll be backing our mission to champion, celebrate and promote British comedy in all its forms: past, present and future.
We understand times are tough, but if you believe in the power of laughter we'd be honoured to have you join us. Advertising doesn't cover our costs, so every single donation matters and is put to good use. Thank you.
Love comedy? Find out moreAre You Being Served? - The Complete Package
Are You Being Served? was broadcast for 13 years, from 1972 to 1985. It was set in the department store, Grace Brothers and was written mainly by Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft.
The idea for the show came from Lloyd's brief period working at Simpson's of Piccadilly in the early 1950s, a clothing store that traded for over 60 years until 1999.
Now you can buy all 10 series, including the Christmas specials in this one complete package.
First released: Monday 13th September 2010
DVD DVD 
DVD- Released: Monday 14th November 2022
- Distributor: BBC Studios
- Region: 2 & 4
- Discs: 12
- Minutes: 2,040
- Subtitles: English
- Catalogue: BBCDVD4530
Buy and sell old and new items
Search for this product on eBay
BCG may earn commission on sales generated through the links above.
- Released: Tuesday 11th August 2009
- Distributor: BBC
- Region: 1
- Discs: 14
- Minutes: 2,100
- Subtitles: English
Buy and sell old and new items
Search for this product on eBay
BCG may earn commission on sales generated through the links above.
- Distributor: 2 Entertain
- Region: 2
- Discs: 12
- Catalogue: BBCDVD3235
Buy and sell old and new items
Search for this product on eBay
BCG may earn commission on sales generated through the links above.
Are You Being Served? - The Movie
In this feature film, the employees of the Grace Brothers store take a fabulous staff holiday in Spain to encourage bonding and increase productivity. However, they fail to meet their training objectives with hilarious results.
First released: Sunday 24th September 2006
DVD DVD- Released: Tuesday 13th January 2009
- Distributor: Lionsgate
- Discs: 1
- Minutes: 96
Buy and sell old and new items
Search for this product on eBay
BCG may earn commission on sales generated through the links above.
- Distributor: Optimum Home Entertainment
- Region: 2
- Discs: 1
- Minutes: 92
- Catalogue: OPTD0618
Buy and sell old and new items
Search for this product on eBay
BCG may earn commission on sales generated through the links above.
Jeremy Lloyd - The Are You Being Served? Stories: Camping In And Other Fiascos
Back by popular demand are the unforgettable characters and wacky goings-on of Grace Brothers department store, setting of public television's unlikeliest hit.
Spinning extravagant riffs on favourite episodes, the creator of this legendary British comedy series brings us seven hilarious short stories, never before published in the US.
First published: Thursday 1st May 1997
- Pages: 224
- Catalogue: 9780912333021
Buy and sell old and new items
Search for this product on eBay
BCG may earn commission on sales generated through the links above.