20 Christmas Cracker jokes to make you groan
Card company thortful have been collecting up the "worst" Christmas Cracker jokes.
They say: "Christmas wouldn't be the same without some classic traditions - like a Christmas cracker, stuffed with a paper hat and some truly lame jokes. Yes, they might be groanworthy, but to celebrate the festive season, we've been creating an index of the best (or should that be worst?) Christmas cracker jokes."
Their visitors have been voting on the list and, at the time of writing, here's the top 20 jokes:
Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.
Why are christmas trees so bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis
Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? They were two deer
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we'll go places
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy
What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve
What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf? You are so last season
What do you get if you lie under a cow? A pat on the head
What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper
What is the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you can't beat it!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic
What do elfs learn in school? The elf-abet
Did Rudolph go to school? No, he was elf-taught
If you and I were socks, we'd make a great pair!
Why are Santa's deers always wet? Because they're reindeers!
What is Santa's favourite pizza? One that's deep-pan, crisp and even
What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes
What movie do the Three Wise Men watch on Christmas Day? A Star Is Born
What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker
To see more, submit a joke yourself, or vote on the list, head to thortful.com
The company has also published a blog titled a year in cards, in which it rounds-up the last 12 months via captions that were printed on its card designs. January started with "Enjoy your last birthday as a member of the EU" with no sign of any covid jokes... but things changed in March.
Help us publish more great content by becoming a BCG Supporter. You'll be backing our mission to champion, celebrate and promote British comedy in all its forms: past, present and future.
We understand times are tough, but if you believe in the power of laughter we'd be honoured to have you join us. Advertising doesn't cover our costs, so every single donation matters and is put to good use. Thank you.
Love comedy? Find out more